🛑 8 Boundary Setting Tips Every Bellydancer Needs to Know
As a dancer, you’ve probably experienced less-than-desirable behavior from an audience member: someone invading your performance space, touching you without consent, or deciding to pick up one of your props during the show.
Cheyney Teagan, Austin-based professional Egyptian Raqs Sharqi dancer and musician, recently presented her workshop “Body Tips: Setting and Enforcing Safe Performance Boundaries” in The Cohesion Collective. In it, she spoke about how when we perform in a public venue, being a bellydancer requires so much more than dancing our best. We often have to play the role of sound tech, social media manager, contract negotiator, and enforce boundaries when someone does something unexpected.
In our interview, which you can view below, Cheyney shared with me that it’s necessary to acknowledge that within this art form, we open our hearts, souls, and bodies to unintentional meanings being assigned to our dancing (judgement, objectification, sexualization, etc). These preconceived notions from audience members can influence their behavior during our performance, but if we have a clear understanding of our personal boundaries and how to navigate those uncomfortable situations, we can reclaim our space while keeping the audience member on our side and ensuring that both performer and audience members still have a good time:
Here are Cheyney’s top 8 tips that she believes every bellydancer at any level needs to know:
1. Have a signed contract and a 50% non-refundable deposit completed up front.
Cheyney recommends having this saved in two places: one on an external hard drive or cloud storage, plus one on your mobile device for easy reference should there be any misunderstandings. It’s also important to stipulate when the remaining balance is to be paid within that contract.
Cheyney also shared that your opportunity to present yourself as a professional and set boundaries happens at first contact, and gave us so many “know before you go” tips, which can be accessed in her Body Tips workshop, which you gain access to once you join The Cohesion Collective.
2. Your entrance matters
From the moment you take the floor, you can set boundaries on where you’re going to dance and can train the audience to respect it. Cheyney does this by utilizing a large eye-catching prop, like a veil or wings, to get the audience’s attention. She then circles the room, greeting every table while dancing and making kind eye contact to ensure she’s seen. It’s important to take up space and be a predictably moving object, but the responsibility is on the dancer to know their “flight path,” as she calls it, and pivot if necessary.
3. Your exit also matters
Cheyney suggested using an “outro” piece of music to exit (maybe a repeat of a previous song with a fade out)–don’t just pick up your stuff and leave. This allows the dancer to take a bow, thank any guests who were extra kind, accept any last minute tips (if applicable), and keep the mystery and elegance going until the very end.
She also recommended exiting to a space that you’ve worked out with the venue owners is just for the dancer, so that they can remove sweat, touch up makeup, etc away from anyone. Cheyney also believes that when possible, the dancer should avoid picking up their own tips if any are on the floor, and instead have a friend, assistant, or staff member do so. Avoiding this keeps the flow and elegance of the show and avoids being on the dance floor longer than necessary.
While many times our audiences are lovely and well-meaning people, the reality is that sometimes you have to enforce boundaries. Cheyney has prepped four escalating responses for the most common scenarios in her Body Tips workshop, but here’s a couple for each scenario:
4. Have a safe drop zone for props
Audience members love props. They also love to touch props, sometimes without permission, so Cheyney recommends have a safe drop zone as far away from the audience as possible, and when available, have a friend or assistant manage them. This means ensuring that they stay put, and if they are placed down by the performer, the assistant will pick them up and return them to the safe drop zone without interrupting the show. However, if enforcement is needed, a phrase Cheyney uses is “I’ll be happy to show you these after the show!” and gently removes the prop from the audience member with a smile and kind body language.
5. Have tactics prepared for when you experience close proximity of an audience member without invitation
This is a big one that unfortunately has a high probability of happening the most often. It's important to keep in mind that close proximity from an audience member is usually harmless and meant in good fun by an overly-excited person, but can definitely be the most disruptive. Cheyney actually included an example in her workshop of a gig she and I did together, in which she commended me for doing the following escalating responses towards someone who just wouldn’t. get. the. hint.:
First, I turned my attention and entire body away from the person whom was pretending to be a bellydancer alongside me, hoping the nonverbal cue would prompt them to sit down. When they didn’t leave, I tried to make them a part of the show and create space between us by clapping along to the beat and giving them the floor so as to make them a part of the show. They finally left, but Cheyney was ready to swoop in and say "You should join me during the interactive part of the show later!" and escort them off.
6. Decide up front how you want to handle body tips and stay consistent
This is a widely-debated topic, but regardless where you land on it, it’s important to know your comfort level for each venue and then be consistent in that space. Cheyney prefers using a waist belt or arm bands only, because she has learned the hard way that if you allow one audience member to tip you in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable, then others will think it’s okay and try to do the same (or worse). Whether or not you accept tips on your body, Cheyney suggests having multiple options such as clearly-labeled tipping vessels or a QR code that links to electronic payment options available because the audience may be shy or not understand what the protocol is.
7. Have a safe distance pose for photo ops
Many times audience members want a memento of the occasion and will ask to take a photo with you. However, this can create an opportunity for someone to touch you without your consent while you’re focused on delivering your best smile, so Cheyney suggests creating a barrier with your pose. She has a specific go-to pose she recommends in her workshop and will also be teaching in her upcoming masterclass “Picture Perfect Photoshoots,” in which she frames her arms in a way that looks good but also maintains a safe distance from anyone wanting to touch her.
She recommends avoiding any hands on the waist or shoulder, and to make the moment fun by asking the audience member to do a bellydance pose along with her. This is also the perfect opportunity to connect on social media so that your audience reach grows outside that venue.
8. Have a no touching policy
Remember: costume doesn’t equal consent. Cheyney is quite firm on this: at no point should anyone be touching you without your express verbal permission, and at private gigs and restaurants she enforces a no touching policy. She shares that at private gigs, dancers often don't know the people attending, the existing preconceived notions of bellydancers, etc. It's also usually a one-off, so we don't want anyone to have any kind of lasting impression about the dancer or the art form they’re representing outside of the actual performance.
She also doesn't allow touching at restaurant performances because again, that's a very impressionable audience. If one person can touch the dancer, then another can, right? And that tends to escalate quickly.
I love that Cheyney shared that if this happens to you and you are made to feel uncomfortable, understand that nothing you wear, do, or say, gives another the right to objectify or touch you without consent. You are not responsible for that person's actions, and you shouldn’t take ownership of their poor behavior.
This is such an important subject, with a lot more to be said about it. Safety and boundary-setting are important not only for the success of your performance, but also your mental well-being so that you can continue to enjoy the journey of being a bellydancer. That’s why I create opportunities within The Cohesion Collective to discuss more than just dance technique! In our last masterclass series, members shared that they found each to be
“So packed full of helpful/inspiring information and stories”
We’d love to help you on your journey to becoming a Brilliant Bellydancer, so apply today to gain access to “Body Tips: Setting and Enforcing Safe Performance Boundaries” and to join in time for the “Picture Perfect Photoshoots” masterclass with Cheyney Teagan. There’s no obligation to join and when you apply you’ll also get access to my advanced private training where I explain exactly how I train people to become brilliant bellydancers!
Warmly,
April Rose and The Cohesion Collective Team 🌹
P.S. To learn more about Cheyney, follow her on instagram @cheyneyteagandance or visit her website www.cheyneyteagan.com
Become a Brilliant Bellydancer
Apply to join us inside The Cohesion Collective and get your free invite to watch my advanced private training on how to become a brilliant bellydancer using the 3-part Cohesion Framework: